Episode 05: Showing Up For Yourself Even When It's Hard with Racquel Henry

assie Newell (00:00.798)
Okay, so Welcome to episode five. I'm Cassie Newell and I'm here with my co-host Angela Haas. And this month we're talking about mindset and we're here with Racquel Henry and I'm so thrilled to introduce this powerhouse in the literary world. Racquel Henry's love for words began at the age of three and that passion has carried her through an impressive journey as a writer and editor.

educator and literary advocate. She holds a BA in creative writing and criminology from the University of South Florida and an MFA in creative writing from Fairleigh Dickinson University, where she also served as a reader for the Literary Review. Racquel is the founder and editor in chief of Black Fox Literary Magazine and the driving force behind Writers Atelier, a writing studio dedicated to helping writers hone their craft.

She's a multi-talented creative who wears many hats, ghostwriter, editor, workshop instructor, and contributing editor previously serving on the board of the Jack Kerouac Project. Her work has been widely published in literary journals and anthologies. She is the author of several novellas, including Holiday on Park, Letter to Santa, and Christmas in Cardwick.

Beyond her professional accomplishments, Racquel is a lover of cake, music, and hallmark Christmas movies, proof that she knows how to balance hard work with life's sweet joys. Welcome Racquel Henry to the Author Next Door. I'm so excited to have you here.

Racquel Henry (01:38.338)
Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.

Cassie Newell (01:43.634)
Yeah. So when Angela and I got together on this podcast, and we were talking about mindset, you were one the first person I thought of, because you have your motivational minutes. And you used to do all these, well, you still do them on YouTube, through writers atelier TV, actually. And that's how I know you personally. And I was like, Angela, we have to have Racquel talk about

Racquel Henry (01:59.341)
Yes.

Racquel Henry (02:03.746)
Mm-hmm.

Cassie Newell (02:10.59)
mindset with us. And so one of the topics we've been talking about is showing up for yourself even when it's hard. Because Lord, sometimes as writers, it's really hard. Yeah, so with that, I thought we could just get together here and sit around the table and chit chat. That's kind of how we we do our

Racquel Henry (02:21.953)
So hard.

Cassie Newell (02:34.376)
Author Next Door podcast here. And Angela, if you want, you could go ahead and kick off some questions. And I feel like I've been talking for a hot minute.

Racquel Henry (02:42.286)
You

Angela Haas (02:44.121)
my, yeah, hot. well, I am so excited to talk to you Racquel because I, you know, I love that the personal connection that you and Cassie have, and now I get to discover all your magic. So what, what question I had, because I guess I would define showing up as, you know, I have my writers hours and the time that I set aside to write and do all my.

writing things, but sometimes I just, you know, it's like getting your butt in that chair and sitting down is half the battle because we always have so many other things in our lives that take us away from our creative process. What showing up for yourself as a writer mean to you though and how has that shaped your writer journey?

Racquel Henry (03:39.64)
So the thing about showing up for yourself, I do think is like writer specific. Every writer needs something different, right? They have different goals and different milestones they want to get to. And so that's gonna look different for every writer. I also think it also depends on the season that you're in as a writer. So, you know, if I'm in...

the season where I'm publishing my holiday novellas, for example, like showing up means I need to get my butt in the seat writing usually around a thousand words a day. That's really my sweet spot until I finish it. And I usually work backwards. So I set kind of like a loose outline of when I want to publish it. Like I have a date in mind and then I work backwards and figure out how many words I need to have each day to.

hit each of my milestones, like sending it to an editor, sending it to formatting and so forth. But again, that looks different for every writer. If I'm in a season where I have to send my book off, like, let's see. So my agent just sent back notes on a book and I have to finish revisions on that. And it's a second round of revisions. We have an idea of when we want to send the manuscript out for editors to look at it and consider it.

Cassie Newell (04:52.288)
you

Racquel Henry (05:03.904)
And so in that season, then I know like I have to revise, you know, I'll set a goal for myself, like an hour a day, might sit in my chair and revise for about an hour a day. And that's what showing up looks like for me as far as the writing goes. But showing up can also mean showing up for yourself on social media when you're talking about your book, promoting your book, right? Because we don't show up for ourselves in that way.

Cassie Newell (05:21.622)
Hmm.

Angela Haas (05:29.442)
Mm-hmm. Right.

Cassie Newell (05:30.572)
Hmm.

Racquel Henry (05:32.416)
as well often, right, as writers, because we're, for whatever reason, afraid to talk about our projects or, you know, not wanting to look like we are self-centered. But I view that as showing up for yourself too, because if you don't believe in your book and think that you should talk about your book, then why would anybody want to buy it, right? It starts with you. So showing up can mean a...

Angela Haas (05:33.685)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (05:36.204)
Right.

Cassie Newell (05:55.552)
Mmm.

Right.

Racquel Henry (06:00.59)
a myriad of things. But for me, it means, you know, when I set a goal, when I tell myself like, hey, I need to have this revised by this date, or I need to have this published by this date, getting my butt in the chair every day. And I should I should also mention here that I'm not usually like an everyday writer, I'm more of a do something for my writing life every day.

Cassie Newell (06:04.501)
Mm.

Angela Haas (06:27.32)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (06:29.848)
kind of person. And again, it depends on the season. in publishing season, I know I need to be writing words. After I finish and I publish my season is then marketing, I'm going to market the book, right. And so I kind of have these, I, that's how I call it seasons. have these seasons where I'm sort of switching focuses. But all of that I consider showing up for myself.

Angela Haas (06:31.851)
Yes. Yes.

Cassie Newell (06:38.304)
Mm-hmm.

Cassie Newell (06:53.355)
Right.

Angela Haas (06:57.378)
Yeah, I think that is so, I love the concepts of seasons and I love that it is different for every author. I am a night owl writer and so my, I call them my office hours are like nine to midnight sometimes and whatever I can get done in that time is.

so important to me. It's not always writing. It's just any sort of task. Answering emails, just getting back to people. But you're right. think sometimes the hardest thing is showing up for ourselves on social media because I feel the same way. Am I bragging? Am I putting myself out there too much by talking about my book? But if it doesn't start with me, who else is going to know and who else is going to talk about it?

Racquel Henry (07:22.414)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (07:30.568)
Right.

Angela Haas (07:52.172)
That was such a great point. Cassie, does that feel like for you to show up? Or when do you show up for yourselves or not?

Cassie Newell (08:03.244)
So I agree too. think what you said, Racquel, it means so many different things to different people. So sometimes showing up for yourself is scheduling those times to do things, but it could be a matter of showing up for yourself and taking that class that you always wanted to take.

Racquel Henry (08:21.966)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (08:25.496)
or taking a moment to breathe and just sit in a space for a period of time. It doesn't always have to be active. It can be kind of silent and showing up for yourself too, which I think sometimes we take for granted those little pieces and showing up for yourself. I was recently reading a book and I was like,

reading it at work. And I was thinking to myself, but this is motivational, inspirational, and it's still showing up for work, because it's adding education. So I feel like showing up can be part of education. What do you think about that, Racquel, because I know you're highly, you know, a teacher and educator yourself.

Racquel Henry (09:02.72)
yeah.

Mm-hmm.

Racquel Henry (09:17.344)
Yeah, I agree with you on that because so, you know, something I like to tell the writers that I help is that, you know, I, we just talked about this actually the other day in a session touching, I call it touching the project every day. You know, there's a writer who is concerned about losing that steam, right? And it's because life usually gets in the way. It's not that they don't want to work on their project, but life is often hectic. And so I mentioned that, you know, sometimes

that looks like just simply touch, that's what I call it, touching the project. And sometimes touching a project doesn't necessarily mean that I'm getting words down on the page. If I'm really, really pressed for time, sorry if you can hear that, if I'm really, really pressed for time, I will go to my playlist, for example. So I have a playlist that I'll create that reminds me of the story and I will,

Cassie Newell (10:10.186)
Hmm.

Racquel Henry (10:15.498)
listen to that playlist, that song, there's always a song that I repeat over and over that reminds me of my story. And while I'm brushing my teeth, that song is playing again, just on repeat. And that sometimes gets my brain just thinking about the story. Sometimes I'll get like random piece of dialogue. I'll jot it down real quick on my notes. And that's, I didn't do a formal bit of writing where I'm sitting at my desk, right? And like,

Cassie Newell (10:22.397)
Right.

Cassie Newell (10:29.673)
Right.

Cassie Newell (10:38.464)
Mm-hmm.

Racquel Henry (10:44.994)
getting the words down on the page, but I still did something. And I'm also, because I think when you put distance, like when you're taking days off and you're like not returning to a project, it's kind of like relationships, right? Like there's this distance that's between you and the project, you the writer and the project. And so by like doing things like, again, listening to the playlist or visiting your Pinterest board, your visuals.

Cassie Newell (11:00.246)
Hmm.

Cassie Newell (11:07.03)
on.

Racquel Henry (11:11.822)
Maybe even jotting down a piece of dialogue that you get when you do those things. That still all counts as writing and it still adds up to the final product. And I call that just, you know, simply touching the project. I also want to say too, I personally have to be careful because I love helping other writers so much that sometimes that gets in the way.

Cassie Newell (11:23.808)
Right.

Cassie Newell (11:29.388)
Thank

Racquel Henry (11:37.42)
You know, and I'm showing up for them more than I'm showing up for myself. And as much as I love what I do, my first love is writing. I'm a writer first. I was a writer first before I started even helping other writers. So it's also that to me, part of mindset, you know, being able to catch myself when I'm slipping back into that and making sure that I'm still prioritizing my writing, even though I'm helping other writers. So.

Cassie Newell (11:53.302)
Bye.

Cassie Newell (12:08.884)
that's a great segue into balance, right? Because touching a project and then getting energy from doing other things outside of words, right, can kind of overwhelm you. I'm in this process right now where it looks like I'm rapid releasing, but I'm really not. They've been written, but now it's production time. But in the same vein, I'm writing the next thing to kind of be ahead of things.

Racquel Henry (12:19.15)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (12:30.455)
right.

Racquel Henry (12:34.38)
Mm-hmm.

Cassie Newell (12:38.418)
And it gets a little overwhelming, that balance, because touching a project is now like touching three.

Racquel Henry (12:44.462)
Yeah

Yeah.

Cassie Newell (12:48.944)
You know, like, how do you like, are there any tips or thoughts you have around multi projects? And how you balance that? Because it seems kind of like, I don't know, we're always talking about balance, it feels like in the last couple of episodes. But how do you how do you manage that in your mindset of showing up for yourself? Is it today? It's project A? Like, how does that work for you?

Racquel Henry (13:15.18)
I don't know if you're gonna like my answer to this, but...

Cassie Newell (13:19.857)
bring it. We like controversy too.

Racquel Henry (13:23.214)
I don't because I know myself as a writer and I think every writer needs to figure out who they are as a writer and I figured out that I don't do well that way. There are occasions where I have to, Sometimes my, because I'm sort of in traditional publishing and indie and there are sometimes where that crosses a bit and I've got to try to, you know,

Cassie Newell (13:30.217)
Mmm.

Cassie Newell (13:38.55)
having multiple projects. Yeah.

Racquel Henry (13:52.088)
figure out the balance, but I try not to. I try my hardest to stick to one. I zero in on one thing and I really try to just do that because I know that I'm not great at the balancing of the multiple projects. I'm also in a little bit of a different boat because some in most cases it's like writers, they're just they're writing is what they're trying to balance. I'm trying to balance running two other businesses while I while I write. So for me, it's a little

Cassie Newell (14:03.959)
Mmm.

Angela Haas (14:19.213)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (14:20.47)
It gets very sticky trying to balance multiple projects plus multiple businesses. It's hard. And so I figured out for myself, if I want to be able to do all these things, then for me, I need to try my hardest to stick to the one project at a time. And so that's what I do. I stick to one thing. Cause I know I'm not good.

Cassie Newell (14:42.802)
Angela, how do you handle multiple projects? Because you have multiple things. Do you do the same? Are you one at a time?

Angela Haas (14:47.927)
I do.

Angela Haas (14:51.584)
no. And I should be as I'm listening to this, you're like, you know what? I probably shouldn't be doing 45 things at once. No, I, it's hard because I feel like, and I always refer to my experience as I'm in my awkward sophomore year of if like indie publishing was a high school, I'm an awkward sophomore because I'm not a freshman. I'm not starting at zero published.

Cassie Newell (14:56.564)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (15:20.642)
two books, third out in January, podcasting now, you know, and I'm a business owner. I'm not, I'm really familiar with marketing concepts, but I feel like it's, hard to know what to do first sometimes because I finished my romance and now I feel like there's all this pressure to start marketing it when actually I want to keep writing.

Cassie Newell (15:24.364)
Mm-hmm.

Angela Haas (15:48.534)
You know, so I'm trying to write a little bit, market a little bit, podcast a little bit. I actually feel like that would help me mentally focus more if I really truly just did one project at a time. But how do you, you know, because you called it seasons and maybe you can expand on that a little bit for our listeners, for myself and for listeners. You know, how you.

Cassie Newell (16:13.132)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (16:18.132)
really focus when you're trying to run your other businesses as well. You you finished writing a book and then do you just not write anything else and focus on marketing for a while? And then do you truly stop that marketing to start writing again? Like how do you really segment everything?

Racquel Henry (16:36.226)
I definitely really stop writing. That's why I said, that's why I said I'm not an everyday, although I've done that before in the past, I'm not an everyday writer. I'm more of a touch, right? Like do something for my writing every day. So sometimes that looks like marketing and so forth. Sometimes I'm writing a newsletter, right? And so I do stop.

Angela Haas (16:41.088)
Ooh, yeah.

Angela Haas (16:46.57)
Right, you did. Right.

Angela Haas (16:54.733)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (16:59.64)
Sure. Okay.

Racquel Henry (17:05.47)
because, and I, I think it's because, because I think of things in seasons, right? So like, I'll give you the example, just cause it's most recent of the novella, you know, that came out around Christmas time. And I throw myself hardcore into the writing of that project. And I'm very disciplined when I'm working on a project every day. I'm in my chair. I got my noise canceling headphones on.

Cassie Newell (17:18.764)
Okay.

Racquel Henry (17:35.138)
And I'm in that world and I don't stop and let up until that project is done and complete. And by the time they finish that I'm exhausted. feel, you know, I was just talking about this with another writer friend because she publishes romance very successful and she does the whole like she's writing while it's in the editor's hands and all these, you know, doing the balance of multiple projects. Maybe you might want to talk to her. I'll give you her name. Yeah.

Cassie Newell (17:36.96)
Hmm.

Cassie Newell (17:50.508)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (18:04.718)
And, yes, and, and, but from, cannot do that. Again, I know myself as a writer. I spent a lot of time looking at what everybody else was doing and trying to match that. There's a lot of my peers who produce multiple books in a year and, know, like, you know, Cassie who's writing multiple projects at a time. And I would be like, I should do that. I need to be like this. And it doesn't, it doesn't work for me. It doesn't work for me. And so.

Angela Haas (18:06.562)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (18:33.87)
I had to come to terms with that. I had to come to terms with the fact that that's just not the kind of writer that I am. This is for my mental health and to keep myself in the right state of mind, I have to do it this way. And I'm just kind of okay with that.

Cassie Newell (18:38.177)
Yeah, that's...

Cassie Newell (18:48.842)
Yeah. It's interesting because I am the multiple project person and it works for me, but it has to be in stages and it has to be in clear stages in order for me to work that way. Currently, will it always work this way? I have no idea. But as you said, you have to find out. Like I have to try and figure it all out if this is working for me. So far it's

Racquel Henry (18:56.078)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (19:17.216)
gives me energy. Sometimes I'm marketing and seeing this first book launch while I'm writing. What is this next one? The fifth book. Think about it, the fifth book, and it kind of gives me energy to keep going at the same time. But I also showed up for myself and I'm taking a gamble. But I hired a PA that's going to help me this year. I don't have the energy to do all the arcs by myself anymore.

Racquel Henry (19:37.102)
Thanks

Cassie Newell (19:45.12)
I'm like, no, so that marketing I have like a key component and then I have the team I'm kind of working with over the next couple of months, helping me, you know, and I'm looking at that to go through the year because I have a particular plan. Do I think I will keep this up in 2026? I don't know. It'll be interesting. We'll have to revisit on the podcast maybe at of the year or something.

But yeah, it's kind of interesting. for my kind of personality and strengths, if you will, it's kind of motivating having multiple projects. I just can't have them all in the same stage. Like if I get an idea for a new story, I know that I need to write it down and put it away because I will have the syndrome of like just...

Racquel Henry (20:24.654)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Cassie Newell (20:44.734)
ADD, like I won't be able to keep focused on the things that are set. So yeah.

Racquel Henry (20:49.132)
Yeah, yeah. And see, that's again, this is what I mean. You've, even if it's just for this moment, that's what is working for you. And I always say, lean into whatever is working. If something is not working, then adjust, change it. You you don't have to keep things the same, you know, but I think part of being successful as a writer is understanding yourself and understanding, you know, what works for you.

Cassie Newell (21:00.929)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (21:05.388)
Yeah, if it.

Cassie Newell (21:18.22)
How did you come to the conclusion of what does work for you? Like, how long did it take you to get there?

Racquel Henry (21:21.582)
my god, lots of trial and error. I feel like- No!

Cassie Newell (21:27.5)
Yeah, because I think a lot of people think it's, it's innate. And when you're just beginning, it's not is it like how long? I'm curious.

Racquel Henry (21:33.426)
No, I would say years. mean, I still feel like honestly, if I'm being honest with you, I feel like sometimes I'm still figuring it out, you know? I mean, I went through so many different phases as a writer, but I do want to say, you know, one thing I will say to this, you know, this question is I feel like people need to be okay. Writers need to be okay with exploration.

Cassie Newell (21:44.395)
Right.

Racquel Henry (22:02.346)
You don't have to have everything figured out right now. Things don't have to be cemented, right? Project to project, life, all kinds of life things come in as I don't know if you all know this, you know, prior to like doing your research and stuff, but I got very sick at one point, you know, I was a cancer, I am a cancer survivor. so now like that period of time was not good for my writing.

Angela Haas (22:26.125)
Wow.

Racquel Henry (22:29.966)
Um, and I just had to let that be whatever it was because at the end of the day I did get well. so, um, at that point, you know, like writing, you know, suffered a little bit, but I wrote casually for fun. And sometimes that made me feel better, right? Like that uplifted me. And so I used it really as a way to explore. Um, previous to that, um, there was a point where I was like so obsessed with getting an agent.

Angela Haas (22:30.924)
Mm-hmm.

Cassie Newell (22:50.518)
Right.

Racquel Henry (23:00.334)
that it really took a toll on my mental health and I'm lucky that I feel lucky that I caught it because you know I was in this I was in the headspace where I was saying to myself maybe I should not write maybe I don't have it maybe this is not for me and I just needed to fall back in love with writing so I stopped like I I stopped querying and I said I'm gonna take one year I'm not querying I'm not

Cassie Newell (23:18.614)
Hmm.

Racquel Henry (23:29.088)
worried about finishing a particular project. I'm just gonna write. I set a word count that I can manage, 400 words, and I wrote every day I wrote 400 words and it was sometimes a blog post, sometimes it was, you know, a short story, anything, just 400 words every day. And I did fall back in love with writing, but I learned a lot about myself as a writer. So my advice to writers, you know, the best thing, one of the best things you can do for yourself is really

Cassie Newell (23:48.65)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (23:59.32)
taking enough time to understand yourself as a writer and to not be afraid to explore, know, especially when things aren't working.

Cassie Newell (24:10.006)
That is a great way for showing up for yourself, right? That's a great way to show up for yourself.

Angela Haas (24:16.492)
Yeah. And I wondered sometimes it's probably better, you know, when was there a time when you didn't want to show up and you're like, I don't want to show up tonight or today or to do this. And sometimes I feel like when we have that inner, like, I don't have it in me today. Do we listen to that or do you find a way to push through that?

And when, you know, what's, cause I think sometimes it's valuable to listen and be like, you know, I just, I need a day off of everything. Or sometimes I'm afraid to do that because I feel like then the domino falls like, well, am I going to take a day off tomorrow? I'm so like, I'm such a driven person that I feel like taking time is like.

Cassie Newell (24:52.427)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (25:08.78)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (25:08.846)
I'm quitting. I'm a quitter. need to drive through these feelings and get stuff done. like when, mean, rephrasing the question, have you ever felt like you didn't want to show up and sounds like probably based on all that you've overcome, but also when do we listen to that? When do we fight through?

Cassie Newell (25:11.254)
Mm.

Racquel Henry (25:22.668)
Hehehehe

Racquel Henry (25:31.63)
So again, I hope I need to sound like a broken record, but it is knowing yourself as a writer. And so I, you know, there have, when you say, when you ask me, you know, has there ever been a time? Often, often there are times, I mean daily sometimes, right? Sometimes even I avoid something because I know I got to figure out this hard part in the story and I am avoiding, you know, I'm like, but.

Cassie Newell (25:58.636)
Yes.

Racquel Henry (26:01.602)
I think in most cases, I mentioned earlier, when I'm throwing myself into a project, I'm very disciplined. When I show up, I'm there every day. And I do push past it because I just honestly, I'm honest with myself. I ask myself, are you genuinely needing to rest or is this you making an excuse? And I think it's hard. That can be hard.

Cassie Newell (26:28.086)
Racquel Henry (26:28.696)
for an individual because it is like holding up a mirror to yourself, essentially, right? Like you're like, have to address it. You're confronting yourself. And that can be hard sometimes, but I find that, you know, I'm definitely one of those people who are harder than myself and I probably should be. My therapist tells me that anyways. But, you know, yeah. But I think like I go back to my why, right?

Cassie Newell (26:34.902)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (26:52.28)
We all are.

Racquel Henry (26:57.102)
That's what drives, that's what really drives me and motivates me, my why. Why are you doing this? Why do you want to tell this story? Why don't forget about your why? Like, why do you want to be a writer? Remember when people inbox you and they tell you, like somebody inboxed me the other day and they said they were meant to read my book at that time because they were going through the same thing my character was going through. And my stories are so fluffy. I'm like these, you know.

Cassie Newell (26:59.147)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (27:22.51)
probably no reason. It's entertainment. Like you're probably not gonna get, you know, these like life-changing types of things. But somehow that character resonated with, you know, the reader and, you know, that's why I write, right? I write because I do want people to feel this joy when they read my work and feel a comfort, right? Feel like they're not alone. And those are the things I remember.

Cassie Newell (27:46.252)
Bye.

Racquel Henry (27:49.762)
you know, when I don't want to show up. Now I will say I'm very big on rest these days because of going through an illness like I went through. It was a pretty extreme illness. And I often, I don't know what caused it, but sometimes I feel like because I was so run down, I would run my body down. would wreck myself.

Angela Haas (28:05.483)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (28:16.47)
Right. Yeah.

Racquel Henry (28:17.646)
I sometimes feel like that brought it on, you know? And so I'm really big now on like trying to be intuitive at least and read myself and say, you've done what you could do. As long as I feel like I'm doing my best, like I showed up, you know, even if it might not be the necessarily always in the way, like I didn't write a thousand words, I wrote 800, right? As long as I was like, I feel like I did my best for it today, then

Cassie Newell (28:43.756)
Mm-hmm.

Racquel Henry (28:47.158)
I'm okay with that. So you do have to rest when you feel rundown, but also ask yourself, am I needing to rest because I need it, or am I just making an excuse?

Cassie Newell (28:50.87)
when.

Cassie Newell (29:05.577)
Yeah. So for new writers who might be listening today, how do you help those who might have some comparatitis of those people that they are seeing, you know, that they admire and are emulating in terms of their production and writing and all of that stuff? How, how would you talk to them in terms of starting and to figure out their balance?

Racquel Henry (29:30.655)
Mm-hmm.

So I will, I'm gonna tie this back to mindset, because I think this is a reframing of thoughts, right? And so when I see that, and I'm, every, I think every human has compared themselves. Like nobody is immune of that, right? Like it's, I think that's a natural thing actually as a, as a human being to see something. And it's not that you're like envious and like in that way, it's more of a like, dang, I wish I could.

Cassie Newell (30:01.333)
No.

Racquel Henry (30:02.434)
have that output or, you and I think that like that's natural. But instead, when I find myself slipping back into that, I try to catch that thought. And then I am like, how can I reframe this? And my reframe is that person, I'm gonna celebrate them instead. That's number one. I'm gonna cheer them on and celebrate them instead. And then I'm going to remind myself that they are showing me what's possible, right? Like they're really telling you like, hey,

Cassie Newell (30:06.155)
Right.

Racquel Henry (30:31.906)
This is what's possible. even if like, let's say you, you know, you can output four books a year, I might not be able to get four books a year, but I will eventually have four books, right? Might not have it in the year, but it just takes me a little longer, right? I will eventually get to four books, just not in a year, you know, and that's okay.

Cassie Newell (30:55.212)
Right. Right. I think that's wonderful because it's hard when you don't know the machine behind the individual either. And you don't know what chapter of life and experience they're in to really even compare. Like you don't know the Instagram filter that you're seeing is like how I like to describe it.

Racquel Henry (31:05.142)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (31:17.452)
Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Cassie Newell (31:24.144)
So it's it's really interesting to me because there are a number of friends and colleagues that I have that they produce like two series of six books. And like, you know, 18 months crazy, crazy. But guess what, have a team of people, they have people managing their marketing, they have this, they have that because they've had success in which they're gambling a little bit.

Racquel Henry (31:37.838)
Yes.

Yeah, I know, I know.

Yes.

Cassie Newell (31:54.09)
to push this success and their only responsibility is to create and do some of the marketing material assets. So, you know, there's different ways of going about it. And then I have some author friends who are like, I like the writing, but I like the social media. Like that feeds me too. So I do that too. You know, I do it this, this and that. And then I, I'm just, I find it interesting that compartivitis

Racquel Henry (32:12.685)
Mm-hmm.

Cassie Newell (32:23.228)
aspect. And I think sometimes people see that and want to mirror it. And they feel like that's showing up for themselves, but they're running themselves ragged. And they're getting in a really dangerous loop of potentially some great success, but also potentially some major burnout, you know, too. So it can be really difficult. Go ahead.

Racquel Henry (32:35.064)
Mm-hmm.

Racquel Henry (32:41.23)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (32:47.022)
And other thing is like, I don't have any kids.

people you know cuz you know I was yeah somebody made a comment too like in one of my writing group I'm like y'all I don't have any kids

Angela Haas (32:55.128)
That's exactly it. Yeah.

Racquel Henry (33:03.182)
different boat. Like I'm a single woman. I don't have anybody that I'm responsible for. You know what I mean? Like other than my niece and my nephew who yes, occasionally, you know, cause a disruption. But for the most part, I don't have children and I don't have that responsibility. So I'm working with a different situation. Everybody has different life, life things. So

Angela Haas (33:04.525)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (33:11.042)
Right.

Cassie Newell (33:24.502)
Right. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Exactly. Has showing up for yourself ever had a negative impact?

Angela Haas (33:28.014)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (33:34.412)
Hmm, that's a good question. Well, I guess I could say that period of time where I'm looking around comparing and trying to match that, you know, like you said, some people think, you know, when they're looking around, you know, and they show up in that way that they think they should based on somebody else, you know, you could run into burnout. And I do think that that's what happened. Like I said, I ran myself ragged like I was

Cassie Newell (33:46.668)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (33:55.404)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (34:03.874)
down. I mean, it didn't look like it on the outside, but internally I was crumbling. And you know, what I'm seeing now, like I said, you know, had gotten sick and then now from a mental health perspective, I have to like rebuild myself there because I was, because I ran myself down so much that affected things in my mind and, you know, brought on other things. And so now it's coming up. That's why I'm in therapy.

Cassie Newell (34:05.461)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (34:11.756)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (34:33.24)
those things are coming up and I'm having to like, you know, rebuild in a way. So.

Cassie Newell (34:37.9)
Work, interesting. Angela has showing up for yourself ever had a negative impact?

Angela Haas (34:45.806)
I struggle more with showing up for myself as far as showing up for others. back to, know, the only reason I published my first book is because both my step-sons flew the coop. know, they graduated from high school, went on to do other things, so not in the house. And...

Cassie Newell (34:54.902)
Mm. Yeah.

Angela Haas (35:13.07)
Even though I still have a lot of commitments because we own our own businesses and that takes me out of writing, managing all that. But I need to set more boundaries and show up for myself more, especially in the marketing arena. So I've never, it's never been bad for me to show up for myself. It's actually been a strength because I've had to say, you know, I need to take time for myself to

work on my career. And I struggled with that, because I transitioned from teaching full time as well after COVID enrollments went down, they didn't need adjuncts, you know, and I struggled with my identity because I was always so used to like, well, your my identity and my worth is based on me earning a paycheck. I'm, I'm working and I'm earning a paycheck. And

that's, you know, that's me. That's what you do. You contribute to your household. When I transitioned more to, I don't write full time because again, we still run eight retail store, brick and mortar retail stores, but I have more flexibility because I'm not working for someone else. But then when I wasn't really like out there earning my own paycheck, I was like, well, I can't just be a writer. I can't just do this full time. I can't just

Cassie Newell (36:41.708)
Mm.

Angela Haas (36:41.88)
take time to write. There's so many other important things I have to earn. I have to work nine to five. where, you know, and so for me, it was the opposite. Showing up for myself is the most positive thing. It's always positive because it means I'm saying, this is my career. It's important to me. I'm not, my whole identity and self-worth isn't tied to me just earning a paycheck. I am still hoping to make money. It's just a long game now.

Racquel Henry (37:09.737)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (37:11.18)
Yeah, so...

Cassie Newell (37:11.862)
But that's such a mindset shift, because I'm going to tell you just real quickly that I felt selfish showing up for myself because my kids were younger at the time.

And they would see that and be like, no, mommy's writing. Mommy's doing this. Then I shifted my mindset around a little bit and also helped frame my why for writing, which was I brought them into it. You wouldn't know this, but they've named some characters, you know, things like this. When I wrote a lot of young adult, but I also realized for myself, showing up for myself was teaching my daughter something.

It was teaching them that I was showing up for myself and I wasn't always kind of bound to their needs or my husband's needs that I had my own needs and wants and dreams. And so they got to see that and I've got to see that bloom. And it's kind of crazy when, you you're not gonna believe this Racquel's known me for a really long time. And one...

daughter is out of college, been an adult for several years and one is now in college. I know you're like, what? It's just kind of mind blowing. But it's wild when they're talking to their friends and like, my mom's an author. You know, they don't. It's funny because I have dual roles because I do have a full time job elsewhere in a completely different industry, which helps support my family. And I love that. But I also, that's the first thing they say. It's not my actual

Racquel Henry (38:24.034)
This is wild.

Cassie Newell (38:49.706)
you know, day job and that career, it's my mom's an author. And I think too, when you're having a really hard time for showing up for yourself because you feel guilty, because it was, it was mom guilt. You know, I know, I know Angela knows that too, but it's that guilt, you know, whether you're showing up for your brother, your sister, your family, whatever it is, it's that guilt when you carve that time and you stick to it.

Racquel Henry (39:08.013)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (39:19.606)
But if you just change your frame of mind around that, I mean, it really teaches others too, that you value yourself and that that gives them empowerment too. So that was a little lesson that I kind of learned over the years for writing as well, even before I published, because they were really tiny at the time, you know? And there's a couple of stories that have never made publication.

Racquel Henry (39:30.222)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (39:45.544)
And it was funny, my youngest daughter in college now was like, there's a dragon, his name is Spark. Anyway, she's like, when is that coming up? like, I But it's interesting, right? Because I do think there are probably listeners out there that do have young children or other responsibilities or maybe they're caretaking their spouse or something to that effect. And they may feel guilty about that. Yeah, it's tough. It's really tough.

Angela Haas (40:15.267)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (40:16.278)
So I'm going to, this has been such a fun little table talk. Thank you so much Racquel for coming. But now it's time for our table talk question, which sometimes has something to do with writing, but oftentimes not. But it's a great opportunity to get to know you a little better. And it's just kind of fun.

Angela Haas (40:20.076)
yeah.

Racquel Henry (40:20.93)
Of

Racquel Henry (40:28.776)
Okay.

Racquel Henry (40:35.776)
Okay.

Angela Haas (40:38.274)
Yeah, these are, it is a game. It's called Table Topics and it's just a fun, you know, card set that you can keep around for dinner parties, friends. Let me, okay. I'm just going to have to just pick because I keep looking at them. Okay. Well, this is an interesting, yeah. I got it. Okay. What was your mother's signature dish?

Cassie Newell (40:54.694)
She keeps like... Unfair advantage.

Racquel Henry (41:06.905)
Hmm. thing is she has so many. She is the best. She's like such a great, um, she's practically a chef in my eyes. Um, I'm going, yeah, I probably, I would say, so I'm going to say, uh, dish, like actually like dinner kind of food wise, probably her curry.

Cassie Newell (41:08.012)
Angela Haas (41:19.534)
Ooh, this is gonna make me hungry.

Cassie Newell (41:20.656)
nice. I know.

Angela Haas (41:34.392)
Yeah.

Racquel Henry (41:35.734)
and yeah, we're Trinidad. I'm Trinidadian. So, that's like a staple in Trinidadian culture. at the time, you know, like when I was younger, it was curry chicken, cause you know, I was a meat eater. I'm not a meat eater anymore. so I will say her curry potatoes with, we call it Chana, but it's really chickpeas. and then for baking, I would say her sweet bread.

Angela Haas (41:37.368)
Ooh, I want it now.

Angela Haas (41:45.634)
now.

Cassie Newell (41:46.368)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (42:01.04)
nice.

Angela Haas (42:01.23)
Right. Yeah.

Racquel Henry (42:05.838)
Yeah.

Angela Haas (42:06.594)
Ooh, yum. my God. Yum. Cassie.

Cassie Newell (42:06.692)
yum.

Gosh. Yeah, and we're filming late and so I'm gonna be like.

Racquel Henry (42:14.306)
Sorry about that.

Angela Haas (42:15.679)
yeah, I am headed to the pantry after this. I am there right after this.

Racquel Henry (42:22.766)
Are you guys gonna tell me what your... Okay, good.

Cassie Newell (42:24.681)
my god.

Angela Haas (42:27.34)
Yes. Cassie, what's your mother's signature dish?

Cassie Newell (42:32.62)
So my mom is Italian. So and I'm half Italian, half Irish. It's a crazy fun battling household. So some of my mom's favorite dishes were very Italian driven, but and she taught me so many of them. But I think my favorite because we didn't have it a lot growing up. It was like special occasions.

Angela Haas (42:36.718)
Thank you.

Racquel Henry (42:40.18)
Yeah.

Cassie Newell (43:02.89)
was her clam linguine. And sometimes her homemade lasagna, like it's, they're a tie. Cause those were like the special dishes. Now, clam linguine is so funny. She taught me how to make it really short and fast versus the long way, which I love. But like the lasagna was an all day thing, you know, and her making that. And I loved it, you know, growing up. In fact, I think,

you know, a lot of kids would go somewhere to a restaurant for prom or whatever. All my friends came to my house, my mom had lasagna. And then we went to the dance. So like it was always a big deal, her cooking. So she wasn't really a baker though, but it was all about the Italian food. Angela, what about your mom?

Angela Haas (43:53.166)
Well, I'm Italian too. My maiden name is Guido. So it's Angela Guido and my friends still call me Guido. Just Guido, that's how they address me for. So yes, everything was from scratch. Everything. My mother was an amazing cook. My grandmother just recipes passed down. I remember the smell of my grandmother's kitchen though. And I walked in one day.

Cassie Newell (44:04.076)
you

Cassie Newell (44:11.414)
Mm-hmm.

Angela Haas (44:18.42)
we were visiting staying over and I walked in the kitchen there was chicken feet sticking out of the pot and I was like, all right, well, I mean, but they believe, know, Italians are like everything goes in it's all. So we had the best, we had homemade pasta and we had, you know, everything a special night was like having like Coke and pizza. That was like beyond, you know, that never happened. But

Racquel Henry (44:24.042)
You

Racquel Henry (44:29.709)
Mm-hmm.

Cassie Newell (44:37.301)
Mm-hmm.

Angela Haas (44:48.05)
I would say her, like one of my favorite dishes she used to make was chicken and dumplings, like homemade chicken, like homemade dumplings, like spooning. could just hear the spoon scraping when she'd like take that dumpling mix and scrape it off into the boiling water and making that kind of chicken and dumplings. That was my favorite thing she made and had nothing. It wasn't Italian really.

Cassie Newell (44:56.843)
yum.

Racquel Henry (45:11.04)
You

Angela Haas (45:12.962)
but it was so good from scratch. And then my dad was a good cook too. He actually made the best handmade, like hand rolled made donuts Saturday mornings. And he'd put them in a pan and our heating vent was like, he put the dough in this bowl, cover it with the towel. And then the heating vent, you know, was like on the floor and he put the bowl in the floor to help the dough. So I'd be like, I guess we're having donuts, you know, so.

Cassie Newell (45:13.483)
Okay.

Cassie Newell (45:18.39)
Nice.

Racquel Henry (45:24.398)
Mmm, yum.

Cassie Newell (45:26.289)
wow.

Cassie Newell (45:36.822)
to help it rise.

Angela Haas (45:42.89)
amazing memories but yeah all I know I'm starving yeah that was a good one yeah

Racquel Henry (45:43.47)
Okay, now I'm hungry too.

Cassie Newell (45:46.986)
I know, right? Rick count will be like, Hey, mom, what's your tonight?

Racquel Henry (45:56.961)
You

Cassie Newell (45:58.22)
Well, yeah, so fun. Thank you for joining us. I don't know. But before we leave Racquel, I'll have like your details and everything. But just for listeners, where can they find you socially? Like if they just wanted to pop in and check you out? Where's the best place to go?

Angela Haas (46:00.078)
This has been an amazing episode. I don't know. How are we going to top this? I don't know.

Racquel Henry (46:22.048)
Instagram is where I'm most active. I'm on Facebook, but I'm not really active as much there. And then I have a TikTok. I'm not really big on TikTok. But everything is really my name, Racquel Henry, with the exception of TikTok, because it was taken. So on TikTok, I am at the real Racquel Henry. But yeah, that's where you can find me. And my website, of course, RacquelHenry.com.

Cassie Newell (46:44.118)
Nice.

Cassie Newell (46:50.282)
henry.com. All right. Well, thank you so much for the chat today. Racquel, so grateful you joined us. Thanks so much. All right. Well, we'll go ahead and sign off and everyone keep putting in your time and writing down those words. Thank you.

Racquel Henry (46:54.968)
Thank you all so much for having me. I had a great time.

Angela Haas (46:55.064)
Thank you. This was amazing. Yeah. Yay!

Racquel Henry (47:08.31)
Bye. Yes.

Angela Haas (47:09.998)
Get your butt in that chair. That's the message.